499 Reasons and Excuses to Go Play Golf
1. A free round of golf was included with lessons.
2. A free round of golf was thrown in for test-driving the car.
3. After reading the USGA rules, I have to change my theory on golf.
4. All the cool kids play golf.
5. All the executives from my company play this course.
6. All the pin placements are forward today.
7. All the TV shows are reruns.
8. Because I am retired.
9. Church was cancelled because of all the snow, so I'm going golfing.
10. Drinking beer and golfing is just fun.
11. Excuse? I don't need no stinking excuse!
12. Free beer at the turn.
13. Frustration is a rush. I can only get that on a golf course.
14. Golf brings our my best competitive nature.
15. Golf fills the long void of the weekend until work starts again.
16. Golf is the only place I can take my girlfriend where she can't talk constantly.
17. Golf teaches me patience, and I need a lesson.
18. History dictates the more I play, the better I get.
19. I almost broke 90 last time out. I need to keep trying.
20. I always meet interesting people on the course.
21. I always play well when it rains.
22. I am almost 50; I need to practice for the senior circuit.
23. I am just very optimistic I will play well if I golf today, so I'm going.
24. I am required to golf for work; I love my job.
25. I am sick of playing golf on my computer. I want to play for real.
26. I am useless at work unless I golf twice a week.
27. I bought a double titanium krypton driver with atomic shaft and sand grooved grips. I need to try it but.
28. I bought a golf cart at a rummage sale.
29. I bought a whole new golf wardrobe.
30. I bought those new golf contact lenses, guaranteed to cut 5 strokes off your score.
31. I called in sick at work.
32. I came home from work, and a note instructed me to leave and go golfing.
33. I can expense it for business purposes.
34. I can finally keep my driver in the fairway.
35. I can finally play under pressure, so I can start betting again.
36. I can get some lawn care tips from the ground maintenance crew.
37. I can pass gas, and no one is the wiser.
38. I can shoot par on the computer version now I want to try the real thing.
39. I couldn't golf when I was married, so any time is good now.
40. I do all my praying on the course.
41. I don't have a logo ball from that course.
42. I don't have time for the driving range, but I have time to play 18.
43. I enjoy driving the golf carts.
44. I enjoy hitting things.
45. I enjoy looking for my ball in the rough.
46. I enjoy looking through the used golf balls in the pro shop.
47. I enjoy nature.
48. I enjoy the peace and quiet on the course.
49. I enjoy the smell of freshly cut grass.
50. I enjoy wearing golf caps.
51. I finally can make my ball go left to right.
52. I finally have a chance to play with someone worse than me.
53. I finished all my projects at work.
54. I finished cutting my grass.
55. I gambled away my mortgage money last week, so I need to win it back today.
56. I gave up intimacy with my wife, so this is my new vice.
57. I get depressed when I don't play.
58. I get more work done on the course than at the office.
59. I collect used tees in all the tee boxes.
60. I could finally afford a pair of name brand clubs – I want to see if I can break 120!
61. I golf around Chicago, hoping to see Michael Jordan.
62. I golf at the outings, hoping to win the car.
63. I golf every day that ends in a 'y'.
64. I got a gift certificate for a free round of golf for my birthday.
65. I got a new beer coolie. I have to try it out on the course.
66. I got a new pair of knickers.
67. I got a super deal on a golf package.
68. I got kicked out of G.A. (Golfers Anonymous)
69. I got lost going to work and ended up at the golf course.
70. I got my new handicap card and want to show the guys at the club.
71. I got new license plates for my golf cart today. I want to see how they look.
72. I got the hots for the beer girl.
73. I got the membership as a gift for Christmas.
74. I got those new golf balls that fly 'too far'; I have to try them out.
75. I had a dream last night telling me to go golfing.
76. I had a new soft-spikes put on my golf shoes.
77. I had a sunroof put in on my golf cart. I need to try it out.
78. I had back surgery yesterday. I need to see if it helped!
79. I had to drive all the way to another city to help you move, I'm sure going to golf.
80. I had to join the course so my wife could make some friends.
81. I had to make a sales call at the course anyway.
82. I hate NASCAR, and that's all that's on TV.
83. I have a coupon from the newspaper.
84. I have a few hours to kill before the M.A.S.H reruns start.
85. I have a meeting at the course, so I might as well go golfing.
86. I have a rain check from yesterday.
87. I have a scramble next week. I need the practice.
88. I have already seen all the movies at the video store, so I'm going golfing.
89. I have an opportunity to play with the three best players at the club.
90. I have been on a plane all day; I just really need some fresh air.
91. I have been practicing putting on my carpet; now I want to see if the practice has paid off.
92. I have been taking anger counseling for my golf game.
93. I have been taking golf vitamins, which are supposed to allow me to hit the ball an extra 10 yards.
94. I have been watching the golf channel for 48 hours straight. I am psyched to try what I learned.
95. I have been working way too hard; I need to relax.
96. I have never birdied a #1 handicap hole.
97. I have never eagled a hole before. I feel lucky.
98. I have never had the chance to golf in Arizona.
- I have never played a canyon course before.
100. I have not played since last summer.
101. I have only played that course on my computer.
102. I have some extra money for greens fees from my company's profit sharing.
103. I have spent a lot of time practicing; I want to see how I do.
104. I have to get used to my new putter.
105. I have to golf as much as possible. Here in Alaska we can only golf 4 months out of the year.
106. I have to golf; it's a guy thing.
107. I have to keep trying to get a hole in one!
108. I have to make sure my back stays loose.
109. I have to pay the country club dues; I might as well get my money out of it.
110. I have to pick up a club I left at the course yesterday.
111. I have to practice for the tournament next week.
112. I have to see how my new lesson worked out.
113. I have to see if I eliminated my slice.
114. I have to see if my new sunglasses really help me read the greens better.
115. I have to see if these new golf balls will float.
116. I have to take my wife golfing at least once a year, it was in the prenuptial.
117. I have to teach my son-in-law how to golf.
118. I have to test this new allergy medicine – the course is the perfect testing ground.
119. I have to try my new sand wedge.
120. I have to try out this new hat.
121. I haven't played the course in ten years since I moved away.
122. I heard a new sand trap was added to #4.
123. I heard a new tee box was added.
124. I heard golf is much easier when you're sober, so I have to try it.
125. I heard the course is flat – I always play well on flat courses.
126. I heard they cut the greens again. I have to try them out.
127. I heard they got rid of the port-o-potty at the turn. I have to crown the new bathroom.
128. I just bought a box of titanium golf balls.
129. I just bought a new golf glove off the web.
130. I just bought a pair of waterproof shoes with the slip-proof soft-spikes.
131. I just bought a putter that is guaranteed to cut 10 strokes off my round.
132. I just bought my new car; I need to see if it will make it all the way to the course.
133. I just bought some slice-proof tees.
134. I just bought winter golf gloves. I want to see how they work.
135. I just can get more business done on the course.
136. I just enjoy having a cup of coffee while waiting on the tee box each morning.
137. I just finished a lesson on the Internet; I want to see if I improved.
138. I just finished the book titled 'Learn to Golf in Twenty Minutes'.
139. I just got a new yardage gauge.
140. I just got an 87-degree wedge that if swung properly, will go backwards.
141. I just got new glasses; I have to see if I can follow the ball.
142. I just got the high spin, titanium-tungsten-liquid filled golf balls.
143. I just got tungsten irons in the mail.
144. I just had graphite shafts put on my clubs.
145. I just learned how to hit the ball left to right. I think I can finally control the ball.
146. I just like wearing golf shoes; they are so comfortable.
147. I just love screaming the word 'Fore'.
148. I just love teeing it high and letting it fly.